i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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