so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
