whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Drunk is not a location!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
