you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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