The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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