Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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