We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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