Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
