I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
