So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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