She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
