Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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