SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
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