You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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