I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have fence marks all over my body
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
