sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
