I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
