I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
