She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
