i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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