We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
