I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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