If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
