Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I love you. Go after that dick
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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