i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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