yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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