just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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