sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
