I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
