I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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