he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
