i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
