Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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