my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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