i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
