I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
