please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I checked into jail on foursquare
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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