it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
