you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
