God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
