dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
