Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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