we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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