Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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