She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
