My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
