I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
