Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
