Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
