what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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